The Importance of Self-Management

"Self-management and self-control are the keys to advanced knowledge, and both are difficult to learn without a sense of your own cultural identity."    KRS-One

The above quote speaks to the importance of self-awareness and self-management and the underlying interdependence of both, being keys to advanced knowledge. Both of these components of emotional intelligence are essential skills that everyone needs.

Once one gains a sufficient level of self-awareness, he/she becomes able to advance to the next component of emotional intelligence; self-management or self-control. The better one becomes at managing their feelings and emotions the better results he/she will experience in life's interactions with people, making decisions and improving the quality of relationships.

As has been stated in previous blogs, most have had little to no training in the area of emotional intelligence and the lack of such training can only serve as a detriment to many, if not most. Everyday we see the manifestations of people not knowing how to properly manage their feelings and emotions. We see it in a variety of ways;

• Increased suicide in most age groups
• An increasing overindulgence of alcohol and drug use
• An increase in violence and hate crimes
• An increase in various forms of self-medications or unhealthy behaviors
• An increase in depression and other stress related illnesses
• Deteriorating relationships

Our feelings and emotions impact virtually everything we do:

• Feelings and emotions influences our interactions with others
• Feelings and emotions influence our self-esteem
• Feelings and emotions influence our reactions to stressful situations and circumstances
• Feelings and emotions influences the decisions we make daily
• Feelings and emotions influence our relationship, especially our most precious relationships

Academia, parents, faith-based communities and other key stakeholders have failed to prepare us in this essential area. As I reflex back on many of my relationship failures and observations of close friends and relatives, I now have a better understanding of the dynamic causing such failures. It has long been said, you can not give what you do not have. This truth has been perpetually passed down the generations. Without intention, many have passed on the best they had with what they had to work with, which unfortunately is not enough.

As parents, if we do not possess the skills to adequately manage our feelings and emotions, is there any wonder why our children do not know how? It has also long been said children do not do what you say, they do what they see you do. If children see parents attempt to manage their feelings and emotions by self-medication or other unhealthy behaviors, they become vulnerable to doing the same and often do.

Each of us are role models to some and what we do influences others good or bad.  There are emotional competencies that we all need; yet many are not even aware they lack these competencies.

Dave Lennick, CEO/Founder of Think2Perform says, "Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access  to experience a breakthrough. Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure." We live in a world where we are all subject to high levels of stress and pressure. These levels of stress and pressure can be especially harmful not only to ourselves, but also those we are responsible for.

Self-management is important because:

• It can have positive or negative impact on us and others
• It can increase our self-esteem
• It can increase our level of productivity
• It can improve the quality of all our relationships
• It can reduce unhealthy levels of depression and stress

Imagine a world where everyone became better equipped to mange their feelings and emotions, especially the negative ones. Would you expect to see less violence, hatred and racism? Would you expect to see better communication and collaboration? Would you expect to see people enjoy a better quality of life?

Self-management is important and everyone needs more of it.