Why Everyone Needs Emotional Intelligence
Very few of the world's population have had any significant training in the area of their feelings, emotions and relationships, yet these are areas essential to our well-being and productivity. Not having been trained in these areas, means that we learn by trial and error. Often the lessons learned are very painful, because of their nature. Feelings, emotions and relationships are personal. Assuming that parents do the best they can with what they have; the reality is one cannot give what they do not have. Unfortunately not knowing how to manage our feelings and emotions, can leave us vulnerable and open to misunderstandings in our numerous relationships (family, personal, community or business). For the most part people are not productive, effective or happy during periods of prolonged emotional impairment.
Learning how to identify and manage our feelings and emotions is one of many great needs of humans today. Learning how to nurture and flourish in relationships is also one of many great human needs of humans today. Everyone has feelings and emotions and everyone is involved in varying relationships, yet very few have even a preliminary knowledge of identifying what we feel and how to manage those feelings. When people don't know how to manage their feelings and emotions, they can become vulnerable to behaviors that are not healthy. People search for remedies to alleviate their hurt. These remedies often lead to some type of self-medication (not just with drugs and alcohol, but any type of behavior that seem to make one feel better - overeating, sex, pornography and more).
In life most are likely at some point to experience times of emotional overwhelm. Unfortunately, while going through challenging times, life goes on. Our feelings and emotions influence our thoughts, reactions, mental processing and ultimately the decisions we make; these decisions may greatly impact others. Processing thought and making appropriate responses to life situations, while under duress or a period of emotional overwhelm make it even more difficult for sound heart and mind connections. Our feelings and emotions can often hi-jack logical thinking.
Think for a moment about increasing suicide rates, the increase of public shootings and the hundreds of thousands of lives claimed by opioid addiction, and the increase in domestic violence and hate crimes. Could there be some connection between each of the above mentioned and the inability to manage or control feelings and emotions? My belief is there is a connection; the complexities and demands of living in the 21st century have created levels of stress and fear not common in prior generations. One doesn't have to be a doctor, psychologist, or a psychiatrist to see the emotional instability of many in our homes, schools, workplace and government.
According to Marc Brackett, PHd., "Our lives are saturated with emotions - sadness, disappointment, anxiety, irritation, enthusiasm, and even tranquility. Sometimes - often - those feelings are inconvenient." Now if adults face this reality, imagine for a moment how our children must process their feelings and emotions, having far less mental toughness or acuity.
Many of the baby boomer generations were brought up during an era, with the belief that Intellectual Quotient (IQ) was the best indicator of one's success. We now know that Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EIQ) is a much greater indicator of success than IQ.
History is full of examples of things thought and taught to be true, only to later find that those thoughts and teachings were erroneous. Failing to understand the important roles feelings and emotions in one's life, has been one of the greatest and most damaging omissions of academia in the past hundred years if not longer. Everyone needs a greater understanding of the role of emotional intelligence in their lives.
The four components of emotional intelligence; self-awareness, self-management, empathy/social awareness and relationship management are essential to the well being of everyone alive today. To merely move forward in these areas based on trail and error is ludicrous and irresponsible. Especially when it comes to developing today's youth and young adults.
Today's youth face a world quite different from that of past generations. Terrorism (foreign and domestic), climate change, and natural disaster, a youth and young adult population greater than at any time in history place us all in unfamiliar territory. The nation and the world has a widening gap between generations. It is my belief that emotional intelligence is the bridge to close that gap. Everyone needs it! Albert Einstein said, "We cannot solve problems with the same level of thinking used to create them."
We need higher levels of thinking. We need to have a better awareness and understanding of self, self-management, empathy/social awareness and relationship management. With that understanding will come, opportunities to close the generation gap and bring about generational collaboration. Solving the problems of today can only occur through the generations working together.
